Tuesday, September 11, 2007

where is my life anyways?

So I don't even remember when I posted last or what I last posted about. My life is pretty busy but I think we all know I like it that way. Last year was very good for me, not having too much going on and being able to develop fabulously intimate girl-friendships and spending more time figuring out who I was (and am) as just me without a boyfriend and in Christ. (Cheesy, yes. True, yes.) But by the end of the year last year it had become too much time by myself, and too much time to reflect and think on whatever happened in my life. I have always, always, always thrived on being busy, and having to prioritize my time and I truly truly truly work best under pressure. It stimulates me more than restful time alone. (Not that time alone does not stimulate me, because we all need rest, but I can't have too much.) So this year is going well in terms of my relative busyness. I do not get to spend enough time with my girlfriends, and I can see that it's going to be interesting having to spend time with all of my different groups of friends and making sure the time is divided relatively evenly. But I am learning that it just takes effort and being intentional. And the time that I now spend with people is definitely quality time, rather than just time because I happen to be in the room.

Plus, I love all of the people on CU and I am sad that we do not hang out as much as we did for those first few weeks. I miss those peoples.

Otherwise, I feel as if I am not really living my life. I feel like I am in limbo and the world is just passing me by and I don't have time to stop and savor it before I have to move on to the next thing. It's probably somewhat a good thing because it stops me from thinking too much and overanalyzing every single aspect of my life. But, I am not really ready to be in school (it doesn't help that I only have 12 credits right now.) I feel like I am really in a limbo world, waiting for something to happen but I am not sure what that's going to look like.

What God is teaching me is patience, patience, patience. Sometimes it gets a little frustrating but you know what, I am thankful God is in control. Right now I will wait on him. And depend on him when the going gets rough.

And somehow, somewhere, I discovered that I really like electronica music. Maybe I really am that nerdy after all.

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